I left my first child, off and on much of the weekend, for the first time when he was 6-weeks old. I left my second child for up-to 5-6 hours at a time to go to NFL games with my husband when he was just 2-months old. My point here is: I leave my children.
Meet our babysitter. One of my favorite humans who ever lived:
Let’s dig in deeper here: you should know I really love my children. I think they are the greatest children of all time, and I want more. I LOVE HAVING CHILDREN! My kids fulfill my life’s purpose, they complete our family, and I love watching them grow and learn and interact. It is my greatest privilege.
And, it’s because I love my children that I leave them from time to time. When I had my first son, I decided to leave him with a sitter so that he would learn from a very young age to be flexible when his parents left him. I hoped that he would learn that, yes, I will leave, but I will always come back. That’s one thing that was really important to me as a new mom, I did not want a baby that couldn’t stand being away from me.
Now however, I leave my children to put my marriage first and to give myself some time alone. It’s important to the dynamic of our family that our kids know that it’s me and their dad, as a unit, who come first. I want them to know that life does not revolve around them. It never will and if we set that tone for them now, they will be disappointed (and disappointing people) their whole lives.
My marriage comes first. If it’s broken up top, the rest of the family body won’t work. I want my kids to see that marriage is a fun, lifelong partnership between best friends. I want them to see their dad love me, but also leave me to do things that he loves to do. I want them to see me love their dad, but also take time for friendships and leave the family every now and then to do things I love. Leaving every now and then is okay.
Why do I like to be away from my kids? Because I think it’s good for them to see their mom and dad fulfilled and happy. I want them to see us loving each other, but also allowing one another to pursue things that we love individually. We are in fact raising individuals. And I hope my individuals can be passionate people who know what taking care of yourself and your spouse means to a marriage, both together and separately. So, yes, I like to be away from my kids; in fact, I’d say it’s a priority.
What say you? Do you think it is important to make time for yourself and your spouse away from your children?