What is it about the hard times that makes them drip by at a snails pace while the easy times fleet away in a snap? Have you ever wished for a magical remote control, which could fast forward and rewind accordingly? I know I have. When what I’m thinking and feeling amounts to GET ME OUT OF HERE, but “changing the channel” just isn’t an option, these 7 words are a virtual pause button for me: “This is how it feels right now.”
When I’m hunched over during the dead of night in my child’s dark bedroom, aching for them to go back to sleep; my eyes burning with helpless, confused exhaustion; I think these 7 words. “This is how it feels right now.” Slowly, my inner revolt is comforted. My breathing deepens and a stream of gratitude rushes through me.
When I’m on the listening end of a long, dramatic, aggressive tantrum, my heart aching with an irritated, pleading dismay. Sometimes I remember: “This is how it feels right now.” My wish to escape is removed and my vision returns to the gift of the present moment.
When the cradle of my arms is the only place my feverish, vomiting child can rest and my thoughts are filled with anxious panic. I come upon this phrase within my heart. “This is how it feels right now.” My mind goes quiet. I surrender to the 3am stillness.
When it’s time to leave and all three children run in three opposite directions, the smallest one collapsing in a heap on the ground {noodle leg syndrome} and taking off his shoes, while the other two look back at me wildly; my fists tighten with overwhelmed drudgery. “This is how it feels right now.” I pause and breathe. I relax. I open up and somehow find a hidden game that makes leaving fun again.
When power struggles reign, and “Joy” is nothing more than a dish soap, when I’m stretched thin and brittle with sadness, I tell myself, “This is how it feels right now.” Tears bathe my ragged heart, I soak it in with a little more acceptance.
Some of my heaviest and darkest moments as a mother have become my most memorable ones by riding on the back of these 7 words.
My Mantra: “This, too, shall pass.” and “Lord, please give me courage.”
This is very zen! 🙂 I get so caught up in the future or the past, but what’s really important is right now. You have a good point. It’s important to acknowledge the now and appreciate it while it’s still here (even if it’s hard). As I look back on our rough times, I’m both glad to be over them and sad that they are gone. When I find other mom’s struggling with little kids kids or handling special needs, I can truthfully tell them that everything is a stage. It always changes. What is hard now will one day be a struggle of the past. When I started to believe that I wasn’t trapped in a struggle forever, it made it easier to handle.