B-Session: Things I Don’t Feel Like Doing Anymore

Image via Scary Mommy
Image via Scary Mommy

Cutting grapes in half.

Yes I know the plate trick. Also I don’t want to do that. I just don’t. So no more grapes for you until you are grown enough to chew your food like a normal person or we get you out of that damn daycare with all of their safety rules. Safety. Pfft.

Potty training.

Looking at that little potty. Full of pee. And crap. And making sure the dog doesn’t eat it. And washing twelve pairs of Dora/Frozen/TMNT undies every weekend. Over it.

Brushing hair.

Your hair is effing beautiful. You have no idea how lucky you are. Yet you scream like I’m trying to cut your ears off every single time I bring a brush near you. I’ll shave it off. I swear to god I will. Fine I won’t. It’s too beautiful.

Making breakfast.

And lunch. And dinner. Cooking in general. And while I’m at it, grocery shopping too. Don’t feel like doing it. Boring.

Putting my kids in their car seats.

OMG. DO IT YOURSELF. But also don’t learn how because then you’ll know how to get out and that’s terrifying.

Not cursing.

I happen to be a bit of a grammar nerd, and I know cursing is lazy, and I know that a parent isn’t supposed to curse. But dammit I like it. I can’t even do it here. And I really don’t want my four-year-old telling her friends to eat s*&!. But I neeeeed to express myself.

Picking up toys.

Looking at toys. Buying toys and receiving toys. Toys, toys everywhere. You are spoiled rotten and all you want is more toys. I can’t wait until you’re old enough to just want to stare at your phone like the rest of us.

What about you? What do you not feel like doing anymore? Lay it on me.


  1. Omg I love this post and so over a few things myself! I have a 7 year old and 5 year old both girls! I’m so over the arguing! “That’s my toy not yours! Don’t touch it!” Or the changing clothes 50 times a day because they no longer like what they are wearing, not dirty nor wet just don’t like it! Over the 40 mins it takes to get out the door because shoes are on the wrong feet or because they want to wear sandles during winter and of course I’m over the not listening!!!!! Why do moms go crazy here is why “clean up your room” “clean up your room!” “Stop screaming clean up your room!” About time number 5 of saying it and the kids wonder why I loose it!! Doing the same thing everyday and saying the same thing everyday and expect a different result! Ahhhh I give up! And don’t even get me started on back talking! Lol

  2. I’m so over trying to get my [almost] 4 year old to wear weather appropriate clothes. You want to wear your summer dress and it’s only going to be 45 degrees, today? Awesome. What’s that, you want to wear your hat & mittens and it’s 94 degrees? Love it.

  3. Waking up before I want to. Listening to “old macdonald” one more time. Changing diapers. Better yet, dealing with your bowel movements in any and all ways in which they may happen.

  4. DIAPERS!!!! Our youngest is currently still not trained and our biggest of our 3 kids is almost 11 years old. We have not had a single day we haven’t changed diapers in 11 years. In fact when we brought our 3rd home as newborn l will never forget having a mental breakdown at a grocery store when it dawned on me that l had to buy overnight pull-ups for our biggest plus two more diaper sizes for child #2 & #3. Calgon take me away…oh wait never mine can’t afford Calgon spent all my $$ on diapers! Lol

  5. How about matching 1000 tiny socks? Life is too short, right? From now on, every single sock in this house is going to be put in a basket. Find your own. If you want to match them, fine. If not, that’s fine too. I’m over it.

  6. Love these! I don’t have your girl problems, but I do have a lot of boy problems like…being able to project one’s pee onto walls and floors and down the hallway. I also am tired of making lunch for daycare after a long day (ugh, why can’t they start feeding my toddler terribly unhealthy cafeteria food like a normal school?) and what I hate the very most is having to bite down on a Camelbak water bottle straw in order to get water out of it. Ok, so that’s not kid related but it definitely is a serious issue.

    • Yes to little boy issues…why for the love of all things can you not aim, like ever? So over the amount of Clorox wipes needed in this house to wipe down toilets everyday.

  7. I’m SO over putting on sunscreen! He seriously screams like it is melting his skin off his face
    (For the record, it is organic, fragrance free, gluten free, animal cruelty free, chemical free, creamy wonderful goodness that is NOT melting his skin off.).
    I want to ask him, “Dude, this is NOTHING compared to a massive sunburn and/or melanoma!” It’s almost like the thinks I’m just putting it on so he can lose his mind.

  8. Lol to staring at our phones like the rest of us. I’m also over pull-ups and bath water everywhere. Oh! And your “art work” from school. Everyday? EVERY DAY?

    • Kate- the artwork is ADORABLE… but we had pencil scribbles… like regular old pencil scribbles sent home on three pieces of paper yesterday… do we save it? Do we frame it? Are we bad people if we don’t?


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