Every time we go to the park, my son Harrison meets a new ‘friend’.
A couple of little boys we’ve met have actually enjoyed playing with Harrison. It’s definitely been fun to watch, but also heartbreaking because he thinks everyone is his friend, even when they’re not or we’ll never see them again.
These interactions made me think about the friendship circles I’ve been through in recent years. Moving around and going through divorce has definitely lead me to be a part of different groups through different life seasons. Transition from married groups, to single groups, back to married groups, and now with children has brought me full circle. I hope my husband and I are able to impart some friendship wisdom to the kids as they navigate making friends in their new home town. This is what I want them to know:
Be yourself and you’ll find your people.
This is a difficult lesson for kids to learn. Do you remember those years when you wanted to please others in order to make friends? That’s what playground experiences are all about, learning how to navigate friendships and be yourself. I want our kids is to be loved for their exuberant personalities and joy for life. I want them to be liked for who they are.
Sometimes you’ll be friends for a season.
You will have friends who come and go based on where you are in life. This lesson has been particularly hard for me with friends moving onto other things in life. Sometimes these friends have been hard to let go of, and you have to remember those friends who are worth having will make the effort. I can only hope my kids learn this lesson more effortlessly than me.
You don’t have to be friends with everyone.
Social media will tell you differently, but you don’t have to be friends with everyone. There’s the assumption that quantity of friendships means more than quality. There are circles of friends in life – your acquaintances, your friends who know you, and then the 2-3 best friends who truly know you. Those are the friends who have walked life with you. I once attended a women’s conference where she said God had 12 friends, and only two were his best friends. My hope is that Harrison and Madelyn will find the 2-3 friends who love them for who they are and are willing to stick by them through the good and the bad.
You are the company you keep.
There’s the old adage that you are the company you keep. Putting boundaries into place to make sure you are friends with people who share the same values is very important. Having gone through the process of boundary-setting in my own life, I hope to impart this type of wisdom onto the kids. You will have friends, but you want friends who value the same things as you, and treat you with the respect you deserve. My wish is to impart this wisdom to our children before they reach the teenage years when the company you keep can make or break your future.
