There comes a time in life when you are done. Done having kids, done thinking about birth control, done being the one in charge of it all. Just done. And I am here to tell you, when that time comes, get your man a vasectomy.
Here’s the deal. You have given birth to his children. One, two, maybe three, maybe more. If you’re up to Duggar proportions you are probably not down with the “snip snip” anyway, so you can move along.
BUT.
If you are done and wondering what a vasectomy is all about, this post is for you.
If you can just imagine your man moaning and groaning at the idea of having his precious family jewels tampered with, here’s what you can tell him:
“GET THE EFF OVER IT.”
I birthed your children. They came flying out of my vagina. Or a doctor cut me wide open to get them. I endured hours upon hours of pain to get you those kids. I was forced to eat Dairy Queen once a week the entire time I was pregnant. My face puffed up like a chipmunk on steroids. I barfed 7 times a day for 20 weeks. I now pee my pants on the daily. My body looks like a freaking combat zone.
Etc. Etc. Or something along those lines. You get my drift.
So, now that you’ve convinced him, here’s what he can expect. He’ll make an appointment with his Urologist {The Urology Center of Colorado is top notch, go check it out}. The Urologist will tell him “yes, you can get a vasectomy, I do this 20-30 times a day, stop freaking out.” Then he’ll make the appointment for the actual procedure.
Some guys like to do this during March Madness, so they can sit around all day and watch basketball while they recover, but have your man do it whenever works best for him. He’ll need 2-3 days to lie around and complain while you bring him frozen peas and remind him about the babies you birthed who are now screaming for a cookie because they ate a good dinner.
On the day of the appointment, he’ll go in and you’ll sit in the waiting room. He’ll need to shave first, but he’ll probably screw that up and the doctor will have to do a little more. No worries.
Next, he’ll get a local anesthetic {shot, deal with it} and the doc will do his business. One simple incision, some knotting and what not, and he’s done. It literally takes 30 minutes. If you want some additional medical info, you can find that here. Peruse at your own risk.
Afterward, the pretty nurse will wheel him out and you’ll take your sweet man-boy home so he can watch TV and focus on recovery. He’ll be back on his feet {and in bed, sans birth control, in no time}.
Most docs require a sample at the 6 week mark and at the 12 week mark to make sure there are no signs of sperm, and after that, you are good to go. In the meantime, continue using whatever protection you were using for the past 10-20-30 years. Once you are ready, flush that birth control down the toilet {or maybe don’t, hormones in the water might be an issue} and then get busy. Your man is still going to work the exact same way he did before, there just won’t be anymore babies! Sweet, sweet freedom.
Costs vary, but many insurance plans cover this for the cost of a specialist visit copay. Just think of all the money you’re going to save on birth control.
Trust me, your uterus will thank you for it and you deserve it, mama.
I LOVE THIS ARTICLE! I’m totally encouraging my spouse do this and our convos pretty much look like paragraph 5. Laughed out loud!
My husband also went to there and it was a positive experience for him. I had a little bit regret and feelings of What if We Want One More?! I got over that feeling pretty quickly!
This is the best ever. I think we will definitely go this route when the time comes! However, I do know a family who got pregnant with their third a couple years after the procedure but they can’t imagine their family any other way now!
Don’t tell me that! it’s terrifying! I do actually know someone in the same boat but the doc we went with says that this only happens when guys don’t come in and get tested to make sure everything is wiped out. I guess you never know!
You-know-who passed out during the consultation.
LOL Dee! that is awesome.