I woke up today in a bad mood. No, not bad – mad. I woke up mad. It became obvious that I wasn’t taking care of myself.
Let me give you some background information. Right now we are building our home and my husband is doing a lot of the labor. This is my first year teaching high school and I am simultaneously getting my teaching license. This is also my first year as a working mom.
Ok, now we can move on…
I am mad, fuming mad. My frustration spiked when I woke up in the middle of the night and realized I fell asleep on my husband on his birthday for the SECOND year in a row. Definitely not #winning any wife awards in this department. I am mad because I haven’t gotten more than four hours of sleep straight since having to move to a second temporary home (hence the falling asleep on my husband). I am mad we had to move. I’m furious with the framer of our home. There have been big mistakes made and it’s taken over ninety days to do a job that should take two to three weeks. Mad that because of this we had to find a second temporary home. Mad I had to do a lot of the moving over Thanksgiving break instead of spending quality time with our girls. Time that I really wanted with them. I’m mad that one of my students died by suicide over Thanksgiving break. He was beautiful and I’m mad I never got to tell him just how precious he was.
All of this anger and frustration is only made worse because I’m strong. I shouldn’t be this mad and frustrated. I know better, I know how to process emotions.
Taking care of myself is a vital part in seeing things for what they are instead of only viewing the negatives.
I went to the gym the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and, try as I might, I would not make it again for nine days. I KNOW better. When I take care of myself, I am able to see things clearly. Yet, I fell into a rut and couldn’t get myself to the gym. I had excuses and really just didn’t want to go so I could get ahead on life.
Wrong… I can not get ahead on life when I am not taking care of myself.
Despite waking up ready to go to war, I made myself go to the gym for a work out that I signed up for about a month ago. A wodathon, fifteen WODs in two hours! A bit extreme and not what I need on a daily basis. However, for this foul mood I was in, this was exactly what I needed to be reminded of just how fortunate I am.
With exercise-induced clarity, I can see just how fortunate I am. Sure, moving generally just always sucks. But let me tell you, we hit the jackpot with our new temporary home! The family we are living adjacent to is so phenomenal that my husband and I joke about selling our house and staying here.
As for the framer, I can see the way we are being treated isn’t right and I can accept it for what it is. However, we are building a home, our home! It will be done eventually and how blessed are we to have this opportunity?!
My sweet student who passed knows how I felt about him. While I may not ever be the best instructor, I will always be an educator who cares deeply for all of my students. It’s been my focus since day one. Something I know I can do and do well.
Ladies out there, I found a group of women to work out with, and I urge you to do the same. My gym, Fit101, is where I feel the most me. I’m not sure why I let myself skip out on going for as long as I did when I know this to be true. Find whatever it is that helps you out of a funk and hold on tight. Don’t cheat on yourself, especially in these long, cold winter months. Take care of yourself. Surround yourself with positive and fun ladies and remember, endorphins are a good thing!