We all have that mom friend who can do it all. She runs her own business, raises polite and healthy children, coaches her son’s soccer team, and sits on the board for various organizations and fund raisers, while still finding time to work out and keep a clean house. And she does it all with such finesse and that you can’t help but wonder what exactly is in her coffee cup. I admire this friend for her ability to seemingly do it all, but she also makes me feel like crap.
Just scrolling through my newsfeed is a real blow to my self-esteem. I see moms running their own multi-million dollar businesses from home and friends traveling the world to help deliver babies in impoverished countries. I see high school classmates getting second and third college degrees and former colleagues volunteering their evenings to teach English to immigrants after a full day of work.
And then there’s me. I am just a mom raising two little people, and if I’m honest, most days that feels like too much. I don’t work outside the home or lead any sort of youth group. I don’t serve on any committees or help build orphanages. I’m lucky if I find the time to work out twice a week, and I definitely don’t grow my own vegetables. When I die, there will be no park bench named after me or legacy left behind. My daughters will be not be taking over any business of mine and they won’t have to worry about dividing my assets. I will most likely be remembered as just a mom. Besides raising two wonderful daughters, I will have left no real mark on the world.
So, when I see moms who can do it all, I wonder why not me? Why do I feel so overwhelmed, when in comparison I’m actually doing very little? Why can’t I seem to find the time or the energy to do anything besides wipe bottoms and dole out snacks? In other words: what is wrong with me?
My life seems so hectic and full as it is, yet I constantly feel as though I should be doing more. More for others. More for my children. More for myself. But when? How? With what resources? The push to do more, to be more is a never-ending internal struggle, and one that I can’t seem to win.
As a general rule, social media is not a good place to turn if you’re feeling down. I’ve discovered that there will always be people who seem to outshine you in every way possible. But, on one particularly difficult day, I happened to be scrolling through my Instagram feed and saw a quote by Mother Theresa that stopped me short. It read: “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”
And then it hit me: I am enough. What I’m doing is enough. I may be just a mom, but I am changing the world. I am making a difference.
I may not have the time to volunteer or the resources to donate large sums of money, or the skills to build houses in foreign countries, but loving my family? That is something I can do. And not only that, it’s something I’m good at. Like, really good.
I am a good mom, and that in itself has unlimited potential to change the world. I can raise my daughters to be strong, loving, compassionate women who may one day find a cure for cancer or start a nonprofit to help those who are less fortunate. They could become advocates for children who don’t have a voice, or work to end inequality. Or, perhaps, they will follow in my footsteps and they will just be moms. Moms who maybe feel a bit overwhelmed, but who love their families. Moms who will change the world.
Yes – “just” raising though two beautiful girls is enough! Appreciate your honest perspective.