One of my great friends recently told me that she didn’t think I was laid back. “Meaning,” she explained, “you are always on top of everything, put together, and involved in things like volunteering at the kids preschool – you know, you just aren’t that laid back!”
Have you ever heard opinions people have of you and are totally shocked? This was one of those moments.
I thought a lot about what she said, and conceded…she’s right. I might have worded it a little differently, but I am one of those women who functions well with order. I spin wildly out of control when I do not feel like I have order in my life. Any disruption to my so-called-order is seriously jarring to me emotionally. It’s that constant quest for perfection: in my appearance, how I raise my kids, my marriage, my home-keeping, my friendships, the list can go on and on! And really this quest is not for anyone but myself; it is my personal standards, which sometimes can be even worse than the standards of others! Keeping up with the Joneses’ has nothing on me keeping up with me!
Well recently, we welcomed our third child into the world, bringing our grand total to three (under three). I thought that I had been “schooled” by me second child, And now?
I’ve lost complete control and order of my home.
You moms of many know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. No matter how hard I try, perfect just isn’t possible. My clothes don’t fit, my newborn doesn’t sleep, my middle baby doesn’t get enough attention, my counter top is never shiny (that’s a personal problem), oh, and the laundry? It lives in a pile in the laundry room. It just isn’t possible to be on top of everything! For someone like me, this has rocked my world. And, it’s forced me to let the constant quest for perfection go.
My child will eventually sleep, so don’t worry.
My waistline will come back one day, so don’t worry.
My children are not as affected by the new baby as I think, so don’t worry.
My counters will one day get the shine they deserve (which gives me such pleasure you have no idea), so don’t worry.
Don’t worry. Perfect isn’t possible. Not right now and maybe not ever again. And slowly, very, very slowly, I am learning, that is OK.
Tell us mamas, do you struggle with perfectionism? How do you “let it go?”