Once upon a time, I was a new mom, new to Denver, with no local mom friends. I repeat, not-a-one.
It was a lonely and isolating time for me, but if you are in that boat I am here to tell you that the situation can change. Hallelujah! I’ve found that more often that not, mommy-hood is a club that we enter and thankfully it’s open to all.
Here are some mama-meeting tips that worked for me.
ONE. Put yourself out there.
Get out of the house often and go to places where other people with young children are likely going.
Some suggestions are:
1) Your neighborhood park.
2) Your local library for Story Time (and if you’re local library doesn’t seem like your crowd, try a different one nearby).
3) Music or activity class.
4) A MOPs (Mother of Preschoolers) group in your area.
5) Workout groups: there are some great local work-out groups geared towards moms: Stroller Strides is all over the Denver Metro area and not only can you get a great work-out, but they have tons of social events as well. Hot Mamas and Belly Bliss are class-oriented boutique gyms with diverse, intense work-outs geared towards moms.
My point here is to put yourself in situations that your child will enjoy, and also where you will have the opportunity to meet other moms in similar situations as you.
TWO. Make the first move.
The very first friend I met in Denver was while my husband and I were eating dinner at the Cherry Creek Grill bar. True story.
Here’s how it went down: there was another couple sitting next to us, cute girl, and I felt like we could be friends. We made eye contact. One of us initiated conversation. And then, at the end of the night she said to me “I know this may sound weird but can I have your number? Would you want to hang out sometime?” This is how it works people. Be friendly with strangers and than be bold. Don’t let someone get away that you meet and click with. Get their digits. Yes, it’s just like dating.
Okay, you’ve put yourself out there and you’ve made the first move. Now that you’ve got yourself a potential mom-friend, don’t forget to reach out to her! Invite her over for a playdate, park date, lunch date – whatever, just do it!
FOUR. Be yourself.
You may be nervous, and that’s okay. Just relax and don’t be someone you’re not. We all want to be liked, but when we try to cater ourselves to the other person, it is easy to see right through the phony. So relax, be yourself, don’t try to force the friendship, and be confident that YOU are a like-able person. Because, YOU ARE!
FIVE. Let it go if it’s not a match.
Let’s not revert back to our middle school selves who were devastated when someone didn’t like us. I think we all know by now that not everyone clicks, and that is okay; do not take it personal. Mom friends that click easily are typically in similar situations; i.e. living in the same neighborhood, same age children, same number of children, and in some cases same gender of children. So if after a few times of hanging out if she doesn’t return your texts, just let it go. And get back out there!
Making new friends can be a little intimidating because it requires us to be vulnerable. But gals, push through the uncomfortable because friendships are such a critical part of this mom-gig. Your mom-friends will lift you up and are great partners to add to your village. After all, we are in it together.
What about you, how did you meet your best mom-friends?