Why This Mama’s New Year’s Resolutions Include “More Girl Time”

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Woman drinking coffee during girl time

What is it about being a mom that simply sucks the life out of you!? (Don’t judge me. If you’re being honest, I know you know that feeling, too.) Hey, I love my life. My family, friends, job, and, of course, all of the organized chaos that goes with it. But as much as that craziness fills my soul, at times, it can also do just the opposite – it can bleed me dry. And there’s really only one thing that can truly bring me back:

Girl time!

There’s something about hanging out with the girls that feeds the soul. It’s a recharge that my kids and my hubby simply cannot provide, no matter how hard they try. I’ll admit, vacation does come close, but vacations are infrequent and expensive, so it’s girl time I turn to when I need that boost. 

Motherhood can be an exhausting and lonely place, especially when we give everything we have to being a great one. You know, reading all of the books, the blogs, the websites. Following all of the advice. Watching what they eat. Making sure they are participating in a well rounded bunch of activities. Researching the best schools. Saying no. Saying yes. Surviving tantrums. Disciplining. Running ourselves ragged. Coaching our spouses through the process. Defending our parenting decisions to our friends, mothers, sisters, mothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, general public, etc. Questioning every decision we make. Phew! Sometimes we lose the best parts of ourselves in the name of being a “good mom.”

And frankly, it feels terrible.

We all know it, but who wants to admit that this mom thing isn’t as fulfilling as we expected it would be? Who wants to have that conversation with their family, spouse, sister, or mom? That’s right! No one!

That’s when I say bring on my girls.

It’s been said that “girl time is good for the soul.”  Well, I’m here to tell you, that it’s 100% true. Girl time isn’t about having a good old time without the fam. No, girl time is about self care.

Girl time provides things my family just can’t. It’s not just the food, wine, laughter, and hugs. That stuff is all great, but it’s so much more than that. It’s the honest conversation. The instant connection that allows us to pick up where we left off without skipping a beat. It’s the easy banter that covers a little bit of everything, from the easy stuff: kids, work, and school. To the tougher stuff: body issues, challenges with other moms, turning into our mothers, taking care of our parents, health scares, horny spouses… nothing is off limits. Nothing.

You see, with the girls, I can talk freely. The girls get me! They get me because they experience those same feelings. It’s with the girls that we can have those honest conversations about feeling empty, guilty, like a failure…

And it’s in those moments with the girls that we can open up and there’s no judgment. Not one bit. None.

Just the opposite, in fact, there’s total acceptance… a rare find in the mommy judging world.

It’s that acceptance that feeds the soul. That acceptance that reminds me of who I am, that I’m not alone in this journey, and that I’m actually doing a pretty darn good job! That acceptance helps remind me of all that I love about my life, which, in turn, makes me a better mom, wife, friend, sister, niece, aunt, co-worker, employee, neighbor, volunteer… person.

It’s that “better person” who comes home from an outing with girls feeling recharged, supported, and inspired; appreciating life just a little bit more than I did when I left. It’s that “better person” who comes home feeling ready to tackle the world, knowing my circle of girlfriends is there by my side to support me when I’m feeling beat. 

So 2018, I’m counting on you! This is the year where my resolutions include more girl time! A resolution I absolutely plan on keeping.

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Shannon is a proud Denver native and a full-time working Mom with three boys…one his (aka #1), one hers (aka #2) , one theirs (aka #3)… #1 a product of divorce , #2 a product of a death and #3 the product of our marriage . . . one who can legally drink, one who wants to and a third who has just learned to read, her mom moments have spanned all phases! Her full time gig as the Director of Marketing and Communications for PERFECT TEETH occupies the bulk of her daytime hours which means nights are for homework, sports, PTO, laundry and supporting her hubby’s new businesses. When she’s not working, driving kids around or doing the typical mom thing, she writes, openly and honestly, mostly about motherhood. Sometimes it’s on this blog, but mainly on her own. As a lover of the outdoors, you’ll rarely find her sitting in front of her computer, usually it’s from her phone while sitting on the sidelines of a soccer game, camping, sitting by the pool or the beach and occasionally from bed. Through it all she talks ad nauseam about motherhood with other women, some of whom think she has all the answers. She’ll tell you, she doesn’t! But, she’s a firm believer that as different as moms are, they’re really not all that different. And most importantly, through it all – the joy, the heartbreak, the guilt, the laughs, the tears, the fear, the days we’re hanging by a thread, we’re all just doing the best we can! And most days…it’s good enough.

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