Dear Daughter {affectionately known for now as Lovey},
As I wait for your arrival sometime next month, let me start by saying how excited I am to meet you. I fall asleep wondering what you’ll be like; what you’ll look like; what kind of personality you’ll have. Will you be a good sleeper, unlike your brothers? Will you be a tiny peanut like one of your brothers or a bundle of chub like your other one? Will you want to host tea parties? Explore the outdoors? Or perhaps, both? While I’ve attempted to make green the new pink, I wonder if you’ll love all things pink and frilly? It’s ok if you do. The reality is you will be your own unique person. And I commit to doing my very best to love you exactly as you are. I hope to help you live into all of who you were made to be.
I thought I would pen a few more hopes that I have for you, truths which I pray you’ll come to both understand and embrace.
Show up for your life
While it makes me tear up to think about you feeling anything but love, I know that one day you’ll likely experience pain and fear. And when those things knock at your door, I pray that rather than hide from them, you’ll have the courage to face them head on. I pray that you’ll keep showing up for your life, all of it, rising up from ashes, shining in all of your beauty, stronger than before. Keep showing up, my love, for it’s the difficult places of life that make the joyful ones taste so sweet. You can do hard things. And I will be right there by your side, reminding you of this day after day.
You are a whole person
What I mean by this is that you have a mind, heart, body, and soul and those parts make up your whole being. In other words, your identity is composed of all of these parts. The world may try to tell you that you are only valued for one part, but you are a whole person and I urge you to seek out the people who will love you for who you are as a whole.
Your beauty emanates from your whole self
Somewhere along the way, you’re going to hear messages from society that your beauty comes from how you look. Lovey, please know that this isn’t true. Your beauty emanates from your whole being. People will be drawn to your beauty, which comes from the inside and the outside. I’ve witnessed 90-year-olds who are still very much attracted to one another and I can guarantee you that it’s not ripped abs and a wrinkle-free face that they’re drawn too. The more beautiful your inside is, the more brightly your beauty will radiate through on the outside.
You are in charge of your body
You and only you get to decide how you will take care of your body, what you will allow your body to do, and who you will allow to touch your body. I hope you never feel pressure to do anything with your body that you don’t want to do. Should you find yourself in that situation, I hope you’ll be so rooted in hopes #2 and #3 above that you’ll find it easy to say, “no.”
Be you, be free
I believe God knit you together and made you to be the unique person you are – with your own set of personality traits, looks, passions, and strengths. You’ll also come to discover you have a few weaknesses. I hope you’ll come to embrace all that you are and accept that which you’re not. It took me a good 25+ years to accept that I would never have long, thin legs and to embrace my short, curvy body. I pray that you’ll rest secure in who God has made you to be, knowing you are uniquely beautiful, and that somehow your Dad and I will reinforce this truth for you. And in confidence, may you feel a sense freedom to be who you are, weirdness and all {there’s a high probability you’ll be at least a little weird because, well, you came from your Dad and I}. May you fight against the pressure to pretend to be anyone else beside the beautiful girl that you are; may you live knowing you are loved.
See the beauty in others
Just as I hope you’re able to clearly see the beauty in yourself, I pray you might recognize the beauty in others. Every person on this earth has value and beauty. While it’s not always easy to see at first, it’s there. Look for it.
Love deeply, hold loosely
Oh my sweet baby girl, this is one of the hardest. There is nothing quite like pouring yourself out and loving another person in utter vulnerability. But you see, people, they aren’t ours to possess, rather they’re there for us to dance with for a time. Some people come into our lives for a short season and some for a longer time. No matter the pain people may cause you or the loss that you may experience, I pray that you’ll continue to love people deeply and figure out how to also hold those relationships loosely.
It’s ok to make mistakes and it’s ok to fail
Life is messy. You will make mistakes, you will fail, you will screw up. Your Daddy and I want you to know that we don’t expect you to be perfect. We simply ask that you admit your mistakes, that you learn from them, that you get up and keep trying, I have no doubt that I will model the messing up part for you quite regularly and hopefully the admitting and learning parts, too. The truth is that if we’re willing to go after big, hard things, we’re going to have some mistakes and failures along the way.
Know where your hope comes from
It’s no secret that your Dad and I have a hope that comes from our relationship with God. We’ll no doubt share our faith with you, how we came to our beliefs, how it’s shaped our lives, and why it’s important to us. We will introduce you to the God that we know and allow you to make your decisions from there. We would rather you develop a faith relationship of your own than simply mimic the one that we have. Ultimately, we pray you will find confidence in the hope and faith that you have, that it may carry you through the good times and the bad.
My dear Lovey, there’s so much more I could say, but I’ll leave it at this for now. Know you are loved already, more than you could ever imagine.
Love,
Your Mama
