Oh, baby girl, Mondays are hard on me, too. Every Monday morning, when we make our way into the older toddler class at the school where you’ve spent the majority of your little life. You cling to me tight with your head buried deep against my chest, your fists clenched, and your legs clamped around my waist like a little Koala bear. “Mommy Mondays,” your teacher calls it; the work week’s cruel post script to the Sunday Scaries. Believe me, sweet one, when I tell you that the first school drop-off of the week isn’t easy for me either.
For me, Monday mornings are like flicking on a too-bright light before your eyes have time to adjust to the dark. And with this stark reality, it’s much too easy for me to feel my anxiety rising about the traffic, emails, and meetings that lay before me in the day ahead.
I’m learning to understand that your resistance to get ready and leave the house in the morning is not bad behavior or defiant toddler naughtiness-It’s pure love and longing to stay in the place you feel the most secure, with the people you most love. And for that, I can find a few extra minutes to gather my patience and actually feel like I’m doing something right as your mama.
I’m grateful and proud of the home that we’ve made your own, and the routines and the rituals that put you at ease. The Saturday morning cartoon snuggles, and Sunday afternoon Play-Doh sessions are special to me and your daddy, too.
So please know, baby girl, when we struggle through the carseat wrestle and the clingy daycare drop-off on Monday morning, I feel it too. After a cozy and happy weekend, I feel like I’ve broken off a piece of my heart and left it out in the wild. And of course I feel that way – you are a part of me, and I of you.
But it’s okay, because I’ll slowly slink out of the daycare room while your teachers get you distracted with circle time. And I’ll carry you tethered to my heart and on the edge of my mind all day. You will be my happy place when I need a grounding moment.