Oh crap, she’s awake. Which one is that? I think it’s the four-year-old. I’m just going to lay here and hope he gets up with her.
Okay good. She’ll go back to sleep, now I’ll go back to sleep. I won’t look at the clock. I will not look at the clock.
He’s already snoring.
I kind of have to pee.
I’m definitely not getting up to pee or I’ll never be able to go back to sleep.
I’ll turn over.
*looks at the clock. It’s 3:09.
My head itches. Crap I forgot about that lice email from school. What if the girls have lice. Oh crap what if I have lice? OMG, my crotch itches. What if my lice moved to my crotch? Isn’t that basically crabs? How do I explain that my four-year-old gave me crabs?
I kind of have to pee. I should check for crabs.
*pees, no crabs detected.
I’m hungry. I’m definitely having a protein shake for breakfast. Definitely. And working out tomorrow. For sure.
But biscuits sound good.
I need to cook more. I’m going to do some recipe searching tomorrow. I will not look at my phone right now. If I look at my phone, I’ll never go to sleep.
*scrolls facebook for 30 minutes.
It’s 4:10. If I go to sleep now, I’ll have two good hours. Okay, I’m definitely going to sleep now. Deep breaths.
I kind of have to pee again.
I should start doing yoga before bed. It would help me sleep. I should start doing yoga all the time. Deep breaths.
I hate yoga. It’s so boring.
I should get the girls in yoga though. Or another activity. They’re on the wait list for that gymnastics class. Or swim lessons. Definitely swim lessons. They need to know how to swim. And they have those cute swimsuits. I hope it’s warm tomorrow. What am I going to wear to that brunch for my mom? I have no clothes. I hate everything I own.
*scrolls the web for 30 minutes.
It’s 4:45. If I go to sleep now I’ll get at least 1.5 hours. Minimum.
I wonder if we have any coffee. I’m going to need coffee tomorrow. Lots of coffee. But I think we’re almost out. I need to go to the grocery store. I should make a list. No more phone right now though. No more phone. Go to sleep!
6:30 am: “Mama. Mama I’m awake. Mama I’m awaaaaaaakeee…”