I let go of the job I’ve been dreaming of since the start of my career to spend more time with my kids and I don’t regret it. Not even a little bit. I recently wrote a post regarding my anticipation about going from full time to part time. But I didn’t expect to face a decision such as this just weeks after that post. When I found out about the opportunity to be considered for a position that wasn’t even available yet, I saw my chance. A chance to get my foot in the door and get my face recognized. To soak up every bit of education about the position and solidify my desire for the job. I shadowed a nurse in the Sickle Cell Clinic at Children’s Colorado, and while there, I wanted the nurses and doctors to know how passionate I was about this population of children. I wanted them to feel my compassion for this under served community of families. I had always wanted to make a difference for these families. My family is personally affected by Sickle Cell and when I started my career as a nurse, I knew God was calling me to serve here.
In some capacity – in some way, I knew I’d end up caring for this population.
After shadowing the clinic for a few months, the opportunity presented itself! Immediately after returning from maternity leave with my second child, I went through a series of five interviews over two days. Each interview was pretty intense as they talked about the stress of the job. It didn’t deter me. I cried in at least one of the interviews, expressing my desire to be part of their team and contribute something to these families. I just knew this was for me. After my fifth interview, I called my husband on the way home and he asked me if I would take the full time position if it was offered to me. I burst into tears. I had been having a serious internal battle and the emotions all came to a head. I had always said I would go part time if my family could afford it after our second child. I talked about this decision at length in the previous post.
But this was a real test. I mean my DREAM JOB!
I had never before been faced with a decision like this. One that meant I’d have to choose between furthering my career or putting my families needs before my own desires. This is not to say that women can’t have both, but I knew that these decisions were starkly different from each other. This full time position would require me to be at the office at least forty hours a week. I would undoubtedly be stressed and sad from all the pain I’d see these children endure. It would take some serious prayer and maybe some new coping skills to adjust to this new position. It just wasn’t something I could give my all to right now with two little ones at home. But I was afraid to let my family down. What a blessing it would have been to have a Sickle Cell nurse in our immediate family. My brother has three sons with Sickle Cell Disease, what would he think of this decision? My parents were so excited about the opportunity to learn more about the disease with me. Their opinions meant a lot to me. How silly of me to think they wouldn’t be 100% supportive. My brother expressed his desire for his nieces to have their mom home more often and my parents encouraged me. They told me that another opportunity would present itself and that God would fulfill His promise to me. My mother reassured me that I was making the right decision. Explaining how precious this time was and how fast it would go by.
It’s been half a year now since my decision and I have to say, I would chose it all over again. I pray that God will present the opportunity to me again, but I know it was the right decision because of the peace I have with it. Women have been having amazing careers and families for decades and it can be done. But I knew what I would have been sacrificing to take the job. I have every desire to advance my career on this path in the future, but I am now confident that God lead me to the right decision. I LOVE being home more with my girls!