It seems like by the time we reach adulthood, everyone around us is concerned with one underlying question:
When you are single, you get asked “when are you going to meet a nice boy?” When you meet said nice boy, you get asked “when are you going to get married?” The minute my last name changed, people started asking “when are you going to have a baby?” And now that our first son is 1, the question “when are you going to have another baby?” is something I hear on the regular.
Blame it on social media for making us feel like we all have a sense of entitlement to know what’s going on in everyone’s private lives, or just on the fact that most of us are plain nosy, but the questions never stop.
I’ve known for quite some time that I wasn’t in any rush to get pregnant again, but now the interrogating has made me slow down even more and take a hard look at exactly why I’m not ready for another baby… Yet.
We Are Just Getting Into a Routine
Having a baby changes everything. We all know that; however, once the dust settles and everyone starts to gets some shut eye, a routine emerges. Fast forward 15-months and voila here we are! We have our daily routine, we know (roughly) when wake ups, naps, and bedtime will be, we know who’s doing what and when, and, most importantly, we are happy!
It took time for us to get to this place because the transition from “the 2 of us” to 3 was a game changer and I am honestly not ready to screw with that. When our son was brand new, I remember reflecting on the life my husband and I had when it was just the two of us and wondering if I’d ever feel that sense of normalcy again. Now that we’ve all settled into our new normal, I am really enjoying this phase we’re in; blissfully bumbling along as a family of 3. Now knowing how much a new baby truly changes everything, I want to enjoy and embrace this phase as much as I can before we turn everything upside down again.
My Body Isn’t Ready
This one may sound a bit vain, but growing, birthing, and feeding a teeny tiny human for the past 24-months has taken its toll on my body. I could bore you with the “your body will never be the same after childbirth” bit, but the truth is that I respect my body now more than ever. Is it different than it was before I got pregnant 2-years-ago? Yes. Would I change it? No.
My point here is that my body has gone through a lot and I feel like I owe it the chance to recover before I put it through the ringer again. Sure, things may fit differently than they did pre-pregnancy, but I am just getting to a point where I feel like my body is somewhat close to what it used to look like.
I Know I’m Not Ready
This is the biggest one for me. My mamma radar just knows deep down that I’m not ready for another baby yet. I will ohh and ahh at your newborn all day, but I’m enjoying sleeping through the night and the hysterical, curious toddler that my baby has turned into; constantly asking “dat?” when he wants to know what something is. I can’t imagine him not being my “baby” anymore.
Quiet time with a toddler is rare (currently watching him practice his WWE moves on his monitor, instead of taking a nap), and when we do have another baby, I want to make sure we’re in a position where I can embrace those fleeting quiet moments alone with the baby. I’m thinking that for us, this means that my son would be old enough to be in some sort of day program, so that I can enjoy the newborn snuggles and spend the quality bonding time that a new baby deserves.
If there’s anything that motherhood has taught me, it’s that you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about until you actually go through it. With that, I’m sure I’ll look back on this post and this thinking in a few years and laugh to myself about how clueless I was. For now though, I’ll take all of the open mouth, sloppy toddler kisses I can get, as I spend my days with my mini man.