Schooled by a Baby: 4 Things I Learned After Having My Second Child

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When I got pregnant with my second child I was overjoyed. We had been trying for several months and all I could think about was how ready we were to grow our family. Once we got the plus sign, it hit me.

You-know-what (and it rhymes with pit!) is about to get real.

Somehow going from one child to two children is serious business! We were slowly inching towards the point in raising kids where going out to restaurants is not just busy, but unbearable. How will life be with two? Will I be able to do it? Will I be able to do it without losing myself in the process?

#2

What I didn’t realize was just how much love was about to enter our world. I was like the Grinch- when he had that revelation about The Whos, and my heart was about to grow ten times it’s size.

TEN TIMES FRIENDS!

Yes it happens just like people say, and yes, if you are a mama of one, about-to-be-two, it will happen to you too. Not only will your capacity to love grow, but you will also learn buckets about yourself as a mom.

4 Things I Learned From My Second Baby | Denver Metro Moms Blog

ONE: The first can handle more than you think they can. It is common to worry about what your first child will think when another baby joins the mix. As moms we worry that they will feel replaced or struggle with split attention. But you know what amazed me? These little creatures can handle more than we give them credit for. Toddlers can be prepped for things coming their way (as they should), and they can absorb information much better than we expect. So breathe easy mama, your kiddo will be just fine and even more special, they will have a friend for life.

TWO: You CAN love another baby just as much as your first. But completely differently. Each child fills a different part within you, and you can’t imagine it at the time but it just makes sense when you meet them. I always say that Number One is my heart and Number Two is my soul. I connect with both of these boys on an intense but very different level. Each little one will occupy a very different and unique place in your heart. So get ready, because your heart is about to grow TEN TIMES!

THREE: Grace. This is my mom-mantra, my wife-mantra, my personal-mantra. Trust me friend, it should be your mantra too. I’m convinced that grace is the critical puzzle piece to happiness. Grace for yourself as a mom (yes, your older child will be watching a lot more TV as you navigate the first few weeks and months as a mom of two, and friend, that is OKAY); and, yes, you will have moments where you are overwhelmed and wondering what the heck you got yourself into (that doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision, by the way). Grace for our husbands who are also trying to find their place now as a dad of two, including a new and very tiny baby. And most importantly, grace for ourselves! When the little doubts creep into our minds and tell us we are not enough – we are. Grace. Let it in, my friends!

FOUR: I’m doing okay. Isn’t it funny how we have no idea what we are doing? I mean, this is something that we never realize growing up- we think our parents know it all! So when I became a mom, I never anticipated how insecure parenting could be. But the way my first responded to the baby with gentleness, love, excitement and maturity – I mean I was and am busting at the seams with pride for this kid! I’m all “where did he get this?” And sure, it’s part nature. But it is also my husband and me. Together, we are raising this child (scratch that…CHILDREN!) and I am proud of what we are seeing. It is in that moment, and the moment’s full of gentle, sloppy brother hugs and kisses, that I sigh with relief, and I know, we are doing okay.

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And you are too friends. You will do more than okay, and you know what, so will your children.

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Lauren is a proud Texan turned Denverite for life. She lived in Denver's Platt Park neighborhood for four fabulous and fun-filled years, and recently moved further south near Cherry Creek State Park and the Denver Tech Center. She is a stay-at-home-mom of two kids under three, and being a mom brings more joy and completeness than she ever imagined. She is happy, but tired, mostly tired. In her former life sans kiddos, she had the job of her dreams in the non-profit/event-planning world, which took her all over the country including Dallas, New York, Las Vegas and finally Denver. Somewhere in the middle she met a man who loved the mountains, married him in 2010, left Texas for good and had two sweet and handsome little boys. She was shocked when they let her take the first one home without an instruction manual. Alas, she is daily figuring out motherhood through trial and error, good community, and a whole lot of grace. Her favorite things are coffee and chardonnay, books and baths, and quiet time, which she happily looks forward to in 18-years. She writes over at Happy Haven Blog about all things home and family. You can follow her daily adventures at Happy Haven Blog's Facebook Page.

20 COMMENTS

  1. When my oldest son was 10 months old I found out I was expecting twins! Those emotions you speak of are so accurate… I was so worried about the love I felt for my first and how would I ever love another two? But it happened, my heart grew as you say.

    They are happy and healthy nine and eight year olds now and I still marvel at the fact that I have enough love (and then some) for each of them, and such a different love!!

  2. Thank you so much for this! I have a three year old boy and will be welcoming boy #2 in about 6 weeks. The closer I get to delivery, the more nervous I have been getting about being able to handle it all. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be the very best moms we can be. Your message about grace is spot on and the perfect reminder for me as I am about to embark on my journey with two. Thank you for helping to ease the fears!

    • Kate, congratulations!!! Oh, and two boys, that’s my jam:). It does get overwhelming but once you meet him, that will all fade away. Wishing you a very smooth delivery and transition girl!

  3. I just love this, Lauren! You really took some of my fears away about even thinking about having another. The part when you said your first is your heart and your second is your soul…SOLD! Char is so much my heart. I can’t wait to meet my soul one day. πŸ˜‰

    • Thank you Kristy! It is so true how they just find a place to fit in your heart. And oh girl you’ve got NOTHING to worry about, you’ll love the next one just as much as cute Charlotte of that I am sure:)!

  4. Great post! I was so nervous when I was pregnant with my second that I could never love her as much as I did my first. But of course I do. It’s such a great feeling when you know you’ve given the gift of a sibling to your kiddos!

  5. Love this! It’s so true how your heart expands to love the second child and every child after that and how you love them the same but differently! Thanks for sharing.

  6. Your words are so encouraging! We only have one, and would love a second, but I definitely freak myself out at times worrying about the whole change!

  7. Love this! I can totally relate to the fear of what will happen and will I love the second as much. But it is true, the heart does grow! Thanks for the great lessons.

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