Approach slowly when first encountering the Hangreus Toddlerus. At first glance cute and cuddly, this species can be vicious, especially when not fed appropriately. Below you’ll find a common meal plan for this unique wild animal.
One note: details may vary according to habitat, age, sex and sleep pattern.
Breakfast: Offer scrambled eggs. Species will take one forkful of eggs, then immediately spit it out due to poor temperature control.
Second Breakfast: One half yogurt pouch.
Third breakfast: 17 goldfish crackers. Must be whole, no pieces.
Morning snack: Three apple slices with the skin peeled off. Skin will not be tolerated.
Morning snack Two: One fistful of sand.
Lunch: Offer one peanut butter and jelly sandwich cut into fours, with crusts cut off. This will first be smeared all over the stroller tray, then thrown onto the sidewalk.
Afternoon snack: Offer Pirate’s Booty. Offer applesauce. Offer yogurt. Offer trail mix. Offer pears. Offer frozen peas. Offer string cheese.
Throw it all away.
Dinner: Taco night. Species will consume:
- One bite of shredded cheese
- 2 pieces of lettuce (put in mouth and then spit out)
- 3 scoops of beans and rice
- 2 pieces taco shells
- 27 spoonfuls of sour cream
Bedtime: Species will vocalize hunger. Hide yourself in closet. Try not to disturb the beast.