My husband and I knew that we always wanted two kids relatively close in age.
When we had our first, the amounts of advice and information we received was exponential. Strangers would stop me and tell me their stories and give their advice. I also had all of the time in the world to read the books and attend birthing and breastfeeding class. Let’s just say I was as prepared as could be.
When baby #2 was on board, I wasn’t concerned with doing it all again. I had a swaddle routine that could get even the fussiest baby to sleep, all of the baby items that we purposely bought in gender neutral colors (smart, right?!), and I had already gone through some sleepless nights and long days. Clearly I was a pro. Then, BAM, just like that, when our second bundle of joy came home, reality set in. Things that had never crossed my mind were happening…
This now comes in massive amounts. Sometimes there is a mountain that takes up my laundry room. I swear, if I don’t run that machine at least six times per week, we will likely have to do the smell and grab test on the way out the door. Adding one tiny human being does not mean a measly extra load of baby laundry each week. Between the spit up, getting peed on, daily wear of clothes, workout clothes, pajamas, etc., you go through a lot of clothes, and sheets, and towels, and everything else!
I can’t even explain it. Between the necessities: formula, milk, eggs, bread, butter, coffee, where does it all go? When it was three of us, I had time to focus on my daughter, what she wanted to eat, and how her taste buds were evolving. I made fun, well thought out, home cooked kid meals, but now, there’s another one? Stop!! I seriously can’t remember to buy all of the squeeze pouches, formula, milk (two different kinds I may add) specific fruits that my three-year-old is in to, and actually meal plan. Kudos to you that can handle this. It took about 6 months before I had a solid grocery shopping game plan.
My daughter slept through the night at about 7 or 8 weeks. I thought that was just average, and not that I was blessed. What I would do to have my second kiddo sleep through the night. I seriously had a 40-hour marathon of awake time last fall. I am living proof that all-nighters didn’t die with the college years.
Go in with zero expectations. This is not a situation where if you’ve done it before, you’re a pro. I am that girl that punched the wall in L&D with my second. Straight out of a movie scene. It was epic, and painful. I was fairly certain I would give birth in the car, or at least in the hallway to labor and delivery. Baby 2 wanted to make an escape, where as baby 1 let me labor a bit more naturally. My kids birth stories are night and day.
This triumphs. Call it cliche or corny, but it’s so true, my second kid filled my heart with a place that I didn’t know existed. When I was pregnant, I couldn’t even imagine loving a second human being as much as my first. I was legitimately concerned with loving the new baby as much as my first. But he is here and loved so much by everyone, including his big sister who dotes on him daily. It seriously makes me want to do this again, and I’m sure my husband is running now right to the man dr. to ensure this doesn’t happen again.
Those of you working on baby 2 or 3 or more, I give you props. There is so much more chaos and love. I am so fulfilled and grateful for the two little loves in my life. Just keep it honest when providing advice and guidance to others. Seriously, us gals need to know these types of untold certainties so that we can adequately stock up on the wine for the hospital homecoming.
Hey Moms of two kids or more! What other certainties did you encountered when you had your second?
I totally agree with this! My second one (3 mo old) is a completely different baby than my first (19 mo old) And my husband dreams about home cooked meals; lots of Red Baron pizzas for us these days. ?
Great post! And so on point – it’s amazing how two children from the same two parents can be so different in so many ways!
And I was with you on the pre-baby number two’s arrival worries. I couldn’t imagine how I was possibly going to love a second one as much as I adored the first. But you’re exactly right that the heart finds more room to love! 🙂